if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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