we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
