Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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