Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
