Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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