Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My vagina just recognized that song.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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