im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
3pm strippers are depressing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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