We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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