new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
