It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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