So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
