A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
His nipple licking is glorious
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