great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize
