am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
