i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
