It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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