This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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