oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize