Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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