I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
