he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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