I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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