I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dicks are not precious.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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