so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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