capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
