I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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