Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
