well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize