how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
