he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We had to coat check the pizza.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
