piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
