To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just found puke in my bra..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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