You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
