I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
