Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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