my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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