tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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