Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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