I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize