she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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