i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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