There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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