That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
