I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
