i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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