I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
