my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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