it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
