and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
