Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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