At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
