This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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