If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
