Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
