it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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